Thursday, February 23, 2006
One day, we were having a gathering at Zhiwei's house. All of us were present and we were having a good time. Sadly, I have to leave earlier because I have to work the next day. Being a very kind person, Zhiwei offered to send me down as it was already quite late.
The both of us were then walking along the corridor towards the lift when we started arguing. I got provoked and was furious. Seeing some concrete slabs just outside one of his neighbour's house, I picked one up and and hit his head with it. Where did the guts and strength come from, I really didn't know. I guess people do things which they normally don't when they're consumed by fury.
Zhiwei's head started bleeding. He fell down and I wasn't sure whether he was dead or just unconscious. From then on, my other self took over, the cold and cruel self I never knew existed. When I'm back to my usual self, I can't remember what happened. I just know that Zhiwei had been 'taken care of'. I was scared. Although I didn't know for sure whether he was dead or alive and where he was now, my intuition told me that he was dead. And I'm the MURDERER.
Zhiwei's photos and news of his disappearance were splashed all over the papers. The police were searching the whole of Singapore for him. It's like the Huang Na's case. It has got everyone's attention and his disappearance received lots of media coverage. I was so scared, so so scared. No words can describe that feeling. I finally understood how do murderers feel after the murder. It's like there's nothing you can do except to sit and wait for the police to come and arrest you one fine day.
My friends started to question me. They knew that after sending me down that night, Zhiwei never appeared again. I had to lie, there's no other choice. I didn't know what came over me that night too. The thing we were arguing about seems so trivial now. I only want to bring Zhiwei back. I told my friends that he didn't accompany me down, he only saw me to the lift, we exchanged our goodbyes and I went down myself and took a cab home. Wendy seems to be suspicious of me though. She asked me lots of questions.
I lost my appetite and couldn't sleep well after the 'incident'. It's been a week now and Zhiwei still has not been found. I couldn't stop thinking about him. My life is ruined now. I'd probably be sentenced to death.
I tried to sleep my days and nights away in order to stop myself from thinking more about it. But my Mum who knows nothing about it still wakes me up every morning, either for school or for work. It's the same today. She woke me up at 8.30am for work. It's really annoying and I just carried on sleeping because I don't wish to wake up and start thinking about Zhiwei again. However, my Mum keeps on giving me 'reminders' just like alarm clock does every 10 minutes. I've got no choice but to wake up, with the fear that I would finally be caught by the police today. I opened my eyes, blinked a few times trying to eliminate the dryness and rubbed it just like my nephew does when he wakes up. It was then that I realised something important. So important to me that I almost cried...
IT WAS JUST A DREAM.
Thank God Thank God THANK GOD! The dream was so real!!!!! What the hell made me dream of something like that???!!!! I think I'm really reading way too much thrillers already, I should read more romance instead. If one day I really have the impulse to kill someone, I'll definitely remember this dream and my courage will vanish as quickly as how a guy's erected penis turns soft during masturbation when his Mum suddenly enters the room. The dream is still so vividly etched in my mind!
I think I'm too stressed up for my coming exams already...sigh...btw, I haven't study yet...but I want to go watch Japanese Animation - MONSTER now! Hahahaha, another bian tai show about killing people. Maybe I'll dream about killing Meng-Ge or Wendy next! Til next time then, 'Sweet Dreams' everyone!
p/s: To Zhiwei: No offence okay? I don't know why it was YOU I killed in my dreams also, you're one of the least possible candidate on my Murder List loh!!! (Hahaha, as if I really have a Murder List) Friends Forever ya??!!! *MUACKS*
You see, I kissed you despite you having cream all over your face leh, gan dong right??? Errr...please pardon my 'at home' face though...haha
Elyse bitching @ 10:52 PM | comment
