Tuesday, November 08, 2005
I wonder...really wondering...about why I have such a sudden desire. I'm surprised and shocked by my own desire when I began reflecting upon it.
You all would never have guessed what I'm going to say next.
I really really REALLY wish to get married. NOW. I don't know why, but just suddenly feel like settling down and knowing that there will always be someone there for me to fall back on and support me no matter what happens.
My desire to get married is so strong that I began to dream about it recently. I even dreamt about finding out that I'm pregnant and the strange thing was: I'm happy about it. Haha very funny right? Actually not that funny la, considering my desire to get married recently and my love for kids.
Looking at young couples on the streets pushing their babies around in prams. Looking at my married friends - some living under a special roof the 2 of them call 'Home', some blissfully with their newborn children. I can only look at them in envy and wish them happiness from the bottom of my heart.
Although I wish to get married very much, there isn't a suitable partner anywhere in sight. If someone who's willing to marry me comes along now, I think I'd just say 'Yes'. Hahaha, okay la...maybe I must at least have some feelings for the guy la. But you all can already see how 'desperate' I am right?
I remember asking my close friends this question, "Who do you all think will get married first in our group?" Various answers were thrown about. But I'm surprised when someone said, "You. I think you are the black horse." Haha...black horse leh...okay la, I know he (you know who you are) means I'm the one most likely to get hitched first (in our group). I'm surprised by that answer as I feel that I often portray myself as a very independent and sort of career-minded woman. Someone who can't seem to have enough fun for the rest of my life also(haha). Maybe it's true that sometimes people put on a facade, and only those truly close friends can see thru it and understand what exactly is deep inside your heart.
Sigh, but that doesn't mean that I will get married soon. I'm scared there wouldn't be anyone who's willing to marry me. Haha. Then how? Die loh like that. I want to get married by age 25 leh.
Recently very attached to a few love songs in the early '90s:
I Finally Found Someone - Bryan Adams and Barbara Streisand
"...I finally found someone, someone to share my life
I finally found the one, to be with every night
Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you
My life has just begun, I finally found someone..."
That's Why You Go Away - MLTR
"Baby won't you tell me why, there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion, I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head..."
Elyse bitching @ 9:56 PM | comment
