Monday, August 22, 2005
Beginning to ponder alot these few weeks...Dunno if it's good or bad...
Trying to accept some very new ideas in this very modern Singapore. (Yeah...Zhiwei's theory of Dating-But-Not-In-A-Relationship got me mulling over these sorta modern thinking...) Hopefully, being able to accept them will make me a happier person for the rest of my life. But seriously everything boils down to whether you can take things in your stride. If you can, you will definitely live happy.
Current stage of my life...definitely trying hard to change for the better like I mentioned in a previous blog entry. Think I'm making some progress, not flaring up so often anymore and began to find myself swallowing some of my unhappiness back down my throat once again. Ermm...so is that good or bad??
Went out to East Coast with Meng, DJ, Dan and Hazel on Friday night, had some red wine (wah...quite power!) and started our endless stream of conversations. The topic of 'communication' between boy and girl popped up again. Effective communication is almost impossible.
Scenario of a typical relationship:
Boy: I'm going out with my friends later okay...
Girl: Go loh. (Black face)
Boy: You not happy ah?
Girl: No. You want to go then go loh. (Black face still)
Boy: Then how come you look so unhappy? (getting irritated)
Girl: No la, where got!
(This argument goes on until...)
Girl: Why you every weekend must go out with your friends one? Cannot don't go out and accompany me meh! (raising voice)
Boy: You want me to accompany you then ok loh, I don't go out with my friends loh! (raising voice also)
Girl: Don't want already. You go out with your friends loh! (turned away - face the color of charcoal)
Ermm...when I mention this everytime, my friends will always agree in unison. The guys will then start to complain why girls are like that everytime, and girls will start to explain how they feel. As a girl, I totally understand why girls do that - coz I do that myself also (haha).
It's actually very simple...Girls want guys to accompany them, but since they already say they wanna go out with friends then no choice loh...LL...(therefore the black face) At this point, guys will argue that if we feel this way, we should tell them we want their company what... But the point is, we want you all to feel the same way...and not because we tell you then you do it. So, we chose to keep quiet. Then after you all kept insisting on knowing why we are so unhappy, we got to say it out eventually...But when you all offered to accompany us instead of your friends at that point, it's too late...Girls will think that you're being forced and therefore, they rejected your good intention. This whole psychological warfare thingy thus ended up in both sides being dulan of each other.
I know it is quite unreasonable for girls to be like that. But like what Hazel said, just like guys are inborne-lechers (haha, for eg Dan), girls' unreasonableness is also inborne. Actually in this situation, what you have to say to make the girls happy would be something like this, "My friends call me out tonight again leh...aiya but never mind la, tonight I want to accompany you, anyway can go out with them next time mah..." Good leh...the girl will definitely 'an-shuang' inside. Haha, but of course I understand you all cannot keep accompanying gfs and neglect your friends la, but please don't go out EVERY WEEKEND for like 3-4 consecutive weeks loh...will definitely piss your gfs off.
Okay la...I'll end here...But something for you all to ponder (haha, trying to make you all suffer like me!):
What's the difference between 'like' and 'love'??
Someone once gave me a very convincing answer, and I will remember it my whole life. But nevertheless, all are welcome to share their opinions...
Elyse bitching @ 1:13 AM | comment
